Who Am I

Have you ever wonder who are you and the purpose of you coming to this world? Frankly, I have never given much thought on this until today. The Girl's Ministry of OCF UniSA had a talk on this topic, Who Am I? Before this, I only have a few points on my characteristics in my mind. Not more nor deeper than that. But after today, 23th July 2009, I finally get a clearer point of who am I now. As Amanda shared, I started to reflect and realized how much I have changed. In the handouts given out, there were also columns to write down the positives and negatives experiences that have shaped who you are.

There were many thoughts on the positives but only one negative experience. That experience changed me so much that it is impossible to not realise it. As how the chinese put it, "Each family has it's own problem". At that point when it happened, I started to think, why must it happen to me? How could that? Everything was so normal and fine before this and I really cant accept the change. There are things that I did not imagine will happen or even ever thought it will happen. However, as time goes by, I started to slowly adapt to the situation. I know I have to learn because everything has changed and nothing can be done to reverse that situation. Unfortunately, as time goes by, things did not get better but became worse. I remembered I just hate those situations and everything at home became very stressful for me. For the first time I felt things were so out of control and I just hate it because whatever that is happening is not within my expectations. It was far beyond that. At a level where I have no control at all. There is nothing I can do. I am just a helpless girl in that house. In a house where it contains my once perfect family. Nevertheless, that incident had helped me to be a tougher person. I remembered I was crying like a baby when both my mum and maid came to give me support and courage to just continue the journey believing that things are going to be alright. Furthermore, as the eldest, I must take care of my sisters. I have the responsibility. Now, as years go by, that courage only grew stronger. Nothing can shake it. Once my friend asked me, why am I so realistic at times. How can I not be? Sometimes, people only see from the surface. Who would have ever thought that inside that beautiful house lives a family who once struggled to go on?

Only we ourselves know what exactly is happening. No one can understand us better than ourselves. Do not struggle to be accepted by the crowd as that is only temporal. Besides, you're already accepted as His child. Discovering is a long and exciting journey. It is never ending.